Well pardon my French ladies and gents. It has been brought to my attention (by someone I don't know, mind you) that it was improper for me to use the word "vagina" in my blog about the State of the Union. If you didn't read my blog...please disregard and return to your previously scheduled activities. If you read my blog then you know what the "vagina" reference was about. It was a purely clinical reference, I assure you!
Hmm. Let me think for a moment as this one has me stumped.
Okay...I'm back.
After careful consideration...I remain stumped. "Vagina" has to be the least derogatory term for a "vagina" that exists (if that makes any sense...which clearly it does and does not at the same time...baffling). I didn't refer to anyone as a "vagina". I wasn't making juvenile jokes about the female anatomy when I mentioned a "vagina". So I decided to research further so I could better understand how this reference could raise the ire of a complete stranger.
My first stop online...www.graysanatomyonline.com. According to this reputable publication and authority on the human body, specifically at Chapter 7 (Abdomen and Pelvis) on page 106, the proper and clinical term for female external genital organs (i.e. the "vagina") is "vagina". I assure you that I am not making this up. Do your own research.
Not satisfied with the say-so of the late Henry Gray and his "peerless source of reference on all matters concerning human anatomy", I searched on. I went to yet another reputable source...www.brittanica.com. Surely I would find clarification on this matter by the encyclopedia of all encyclopedias. I'll list the definition given for your review.
No wait...I won't. It's quite graphic and could disturb the delicate sensibilities of those with anatomical phobias or some other such affliction. Rather, I will post the link for you to peruse at your own discretion. Good luck.
http://www.britannica.com/eb/article-9074620/vagina
Still not satisfied and in search of more concise clarification to this dilemna...I came across what has to be the most authoritative source for these sorts of matter.
www.uncyclopedia.org.wiki.vagina
Alas...I have seen the light and the error of my ways! I now know the proper and most politically correct and socially acceptable term for ...ya know...the secret place (wink). And in an abundance of caution, I shall post the definition as it is printed from this source. Readers beware!
The Vagina (or more commonly known as the "Happy Hole") is commonly considered to be a small furry animal with possibly thousands of rows of razor-sharp, serrated teeth - capable of devouring large quantities of raw meat. The vagina has the distinction of being colloquially known as an "axe wound" in every spoken language on Earth. Also known to all men who have ever roamed the Earth as the "thing that you will spend nine-tenths of your life looking for but never getting".
Its primary justification is to give meaning to the existence of females, for the vagina was made to give pleasure to men (among no other things) and is the one main reason why men keep women around (aside from breasts).
Females were created to be a host to vaginas and sustain their lives by supplying oxygenated blood, and enable transportation to fresh kills of raw meat. Some experts claim that the original intended use of the vagina (note: the orange ones fuck you up real good) was to steal any fresh kitten souls from men who've been huffing - which explains why the male become lethargic and the female energized after sex.
Professors of vaginology are commonly referred to as vaginarians, vaginalogists or vagiterians. That they may be called gynecologists is a vagination of clitorical proportion.
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