Setting the Rules for Superbowl Sunday

The Superbowl is drawing near and as the day fast approaches, I feel it necessary to establish some new rules relating to "football fan etiquette".

For the menfolk...look guys...it's simple...if you're not on the gridiron on Sunday, don't wear the jersey. Yeah, yeah...team spirit...rah rah. What are you...10 years old? You've had your days on the field and your time has come and gone. It's time now to put away childish things and embrace your manhood. Leave the "mancrush" in a box in the basement. Trust me when I tell you that nothing appeals to a woman less than a grown man wearing a jersey with another grown man's name on it. Are ya feeling me?

For those of you who will disregard my sound advice on this matter, let me help you out a little. If you attend an NFL game between, oh...I dunno...the Jets and the Bengals, do not...I repeat...do NOT wear the jersey for another NFL team that isn't playing in that game, especially if you're going to up the ante by wearing a "mancrush" jersey. For clarity's sake, let me provide an example:

If you're at Jets v. Ravens football game, don't show up wearing a Colts jersey with Peyton Manning's name on the back. Two obvious problems with this scenario. 1) Colts aren't playing in the game; 2) refer back to my previous comments on the "mancrush" jersey thing. If you wear a Colts jersey with Peyton Manning's name on it to a game that the Colts aren't even playing in, you are telling the world, "I am a braying donkey. Please abuse me." (see below)



For the womenfolk...enough with the pink jerseys. I don't care if Jessica Simpson made wearing a pink jersey fashionable for all of 5 minutes...stop it already. (side note...Dallas lost that game. i.e. pink jerseys are cursed!)

Seriously though...disrespecting a perfectly great game like football by introducing pink into its color schemes is ...well...it should be a misdemeanor at the very least. As a woman, I don't feel any sexier or more feminine in a pink jersey than I do sporting an extra small version of the real thing. In fact, taking something made explicitly for manly men and making it look quite sexy is a feather in my cap.

Men seem to dig it, too, so my suggestion...try it, they like it.

Sigh...let's talk separation of church and State (zzzzz)

I hear the arguments over and over again from people who are right (usually far right) of center about the role that religion plays (if any) in politics and governance of this nation. I am often reminded by these folks that this nation was founded on Christian principles. While I will agree that this country's founding fathers were Christians, I strongly disagree with the assertion that the foundations of our Constitution are based exclusively on Christian beliefs. Rather, our founding fathers primary objective when drafting the Constitution was to guarantee all citizens certain rights that include the freedom to practice the religion of their choice. Nowhere in the Constitution does it state or imply that the founding fathers intended those rights to be limited to Christians alone. The founding fathers also went to great effort and detail in the Constitution to ensure that our government was divided into three distinct branches so that no one person or office could exercise too much unilateral power. It is called "checks and balances" and is structured in such a way as to protect the citizens of the country from government tyranny. That is why our founding fathers came to this country and founded it as a democratic society.

That brings me to the Constitutional principle of separation of church and state. To the anti-separationist right wingers out there, the principle of separation of church and state was included in our Constitution for the explicit purpose of protecting our religious liberties. We are a pluralistic society with a diverse racial, socioeconomic and religious citizenship. As such, it would be impossible to protect the Constitutional rights of each citizen as relates to religious freedoms by injecting any one religions distinct beliefs into our government. It cannot be done...not in this country and not in any country as diverse as ours and with the types of protections we have in place. So deal with it and enjoy the religious freedoms you have, live your life according to your religious beliefs and allow others to do the same.

And if that isn't enough reason for the need for separation of church and state, what follows here surely makes the argument effectively:

I rest my case. Amen.